My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fuck appropriateness.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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