We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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