lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
