so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
