I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There are leaves in my underwear?
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