the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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