I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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