Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
