their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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