got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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