Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
