Where did you get a picture of my penis
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize