Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
