How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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