let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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