You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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