If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
