just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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