forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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