she looked like the before picture.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
