he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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