her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
