Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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