I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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