Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize