i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
