I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
