He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
