I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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