You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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