drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
