Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
