My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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