im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
