How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
