she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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