I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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