Welp...herpes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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