Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were destined to go to rehab together
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize