Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
