If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I could make wine with my vomit
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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