She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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