How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
