Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have fence marks all over my body
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
