Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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