Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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