Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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