he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize