Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Will exercising make me less horny?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
