the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Randomize
