um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
