Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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