singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
