I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize