Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
