I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize