don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize