I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize