I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
