I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
