It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
