She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
