Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
