thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
